


more than ever

by jeonwoong (lovemenow)



Category: AB6IX, MXM (Band)
Genre: Dongpaca, Eventual Romance, Experimental Style, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, I suck at tags, Lots of it, M/M, Pining, Songfic, almost, but its almost a best friends to lovers, i dont particularly know where i went with this, idk just read, partly college setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-14 02:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16484309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemenow/pseuds/jeonwoong
Summary: Donghyun is good at everything, except for hiding his feelings.





	1. hoping that you'd love me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ariesaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariesaa/gifts).



> a lil surprise for my other half isabelle ♡  
> (happy 5 months best friend! i love you hohoho)
> 
> i've been dying to write a songfic based off more than ever because i swear the tracks were SO au-worthy, especially if you rearranged them to make a full story. following my emotions that kept floating around hoping that you'd love me and love me now, i decided to finally make this songfic a reality (woohoo!).
> 
> i experimented with my writing style, after being inspired from reading so much poetry from lang leav this past month. it was suuuper fun writing it. i hope you guys like it uwu 
> 
> endless, endless love for matchies AND those who are always supporting me regardless on twitter or on ao3; i loveee every single one of you and i appreciate your countless support <3 this is for you hehe
> 
> (bonus because donghyun's finally the one chasing and not being chased, as many of you had wanted ♡)
> 
> all my love,  
> lovemenow

Youngmin's just like that.  
With his pretty eyes and plush lips  
voice that drips like honey  
when his laugh echoes incessantly  
a smile you can never mistake for anyone else's.

 

He's just like that;  
taking things so lightly  
brushing off heartfelt confessions  
never quite being able to distinguish  
if someone's being serious or not.

 

And he's just like that;  
chuckling softly at the mention of dating  
relationships being his last priority  
only quietly supporting others' love stories  
as if he wasn't made to fall in love  
as if he didn't need to fall in love  
as if he didn't deserve to fall in love.

 

Youngmin's just like that,  
as Donghyun learns.

 

Donghyun's heart keeps fluttering  
and he doesn't quite remember when it first happened  
or more of,  _why_ it happened.

 

Sitting beside Youngmin during Tuesday morning lectures  
is like watching a repeat telecast of a drama episode;  
he keeps finding himself stealing glances  
losing his train of thoughts  
not paying attention —  
then there's Youngmin, nudging his elbow  
writing a small  _focus!_ on the corner of his notebook.

 

It's things like that  
the simplest of things  
and yet Donghyun doesn't know why  
he's managed to have fallen so deep.

 

And Donghyun doesn't know why  
he feels as though there's a void in his heart  
when he's with a group of people,  
but Youngmin's not present.

 

And why does it hurt so much  
when Youngmin looks at him and smiles  
his bright eyes boring into his  
the ends of his mouth curled up;  
why should something so pretty  
hurt so much?

 

Donghyun's always wondering  
if Youngmin would ever understand  
if the wall between them would ever collapse  
if his heart would eventually open up  
if his feelings would change a little bit.

 

But then again  
Donghyun knows all too well —  
he might lose Youngmin  
if he goes a step further  
leaving him no choice  
but only hope for the elder man to come forward first  
provided he realises Donghyun has been here all along.

 

He wishes he were beside Youngmin  
at this exact moment.

 

He wishes Youngmin would love him  
that he would feel the feelings he's feeling  
that he'd lean on him and rest a bit  
that he wouldn't be on anyone else's side but his.

 

But it's not like wishes come true.  
Wishes are merely just wishes, anyway.


	2. don't stop me now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof aaah i had the HARDEST time deciding whether dsmn came before smyl or not, but after (over) analysing it i came to the conclusion that dsmn DOES come before smyl, so today's update is dsmn, thank you for wasting your time on reading this short beginning note of lovemenow babbling, have a nice day and enjoy this one!
> 
> (whipped!donghyun. prepare your hearts.)
> 
> muah xoxo  
> lovemenow

It's been a few weeks  
perhaps even months  
but Donghyun can't stop staring;  
in fact, it's as if Youngmin's gotten used to it.

 

The atmosphere has become lighter  
less tense and more relaxed  
almost more playful, in a sense.  
And it's safe to say that  
the distance between them  
has noticeably closed.

 

Donghyun thinks it's funny  
that he's so crazy over Youngmin  
so much so to the extent that  
everything that isn't Youngmin  
is suddenly so dull and boring.

 

He thinks it's kind of amusing —  
a little bit borderline absolutely maddening  
that Youngmin, time and time again,  
manages to squeeze among everything  
and get inside that head of his.

 

It's funny.  
It causes Donghyun to chuckle  
as he looks at the man beside him.

 

"Weirdo,"  
Youngmin tells him.  
"You keep laughing  
for no known reason."

 

"That's the point,"  
Donghyun chortles.  
"There  _is_ no reason."

 

Youngmin's always rushing into his thoughts  
like waves crashing ashore on a beach  
like heavy rain that suddenly soaks.

 

Being with him  
just the mere presence of him  
feels like a rollercoaster  
a downhill that can't be held back.

 

While mornings and afternoons  
are like the calm after the storm  
nights with Youngmin are something else —  
they are the storm.

 

Always finding the subtlest ways to drop hints  
to flirt and to make him blush;  
that's what Donghyun does  
that's what causes their friends to cheer and gape  
because he's never been like this —  
Donghyun is never this bold and brave.

 

Kim Donghyun thinks  
that among several things  
Im Youngmin is the most beautiful  
in the whole wide world  
and most definitely  
he won't hesitate to run to him  
who seems to pour out like the stars.

 

It's like nothing  
absolutely nothing  
can stop him from chasing Youngmin.


	3. show me your love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youngdong is progressing losers!
> 
> i keep updating earlier and earlier yikes but it's probably because i'm super hyped to write this :( and also because i love writing this :( because whipped!donghyun is Such A Sight :(
> 
> okay i'll shut up eeks
> 
> muah  
> lovemenow

As the seasons change  
and flowers wither into fall  
and snowflakes land in their hair  
Youngmin starts changing as well.

 

He's difficult to understand,  
Donghyun thinks to himself.  
Youngmin confuses him a lot.

 

His heart is like an ocean —  
on and off, hard to predict  
it goes back and forth  
and down and up  
leaving Donghyun perplexed.  


 

Sometimes Youngmin would be the one  
to hold his hand and initiate small touches  
but at the end of the day  
he'd be the one pushing Donghyun away  
keeping silent and not speaking.

 

And just when Donghyun is about to think it's love  
Youngmin manages to flip his heart over  
like a storm, time and time again.

 

"What are you and Youngmin now?"  
"Is Youngmin your boyfriend?"  
"Are you guys dating?"  
Donghyun huffs  
shakes his head  
and shrugs.

 

He doesn't quite know.

 

Youngmin's always leaves Donghyun hanging  
lets a thousand thoughts run through his head  
questioning their relationship and the vagueness.

 

And while he doesn't ever mention being in love  
Donghyun secretly hopes Youngmin would tell him  
if he happens to feel the same way.

 

He hopes Youngmin  
would show his love  
more comfortably  
more coolly.

 

If he wasn't planning to reciprocate feelings  
perhaps he should've kept his guard up  
instead of holding Donghyun in his arms  
keeping on shaking up his heart  
then disappearing from his view all over again.

 

"He knows I'm in love,"  
Donghyun decides.  
"But why keep on hiding;  
what more does he expect?"

 

When will Youngmin finally admit  
that he's liked Donghyun a lot  
all this while too?


	4. knock knock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the time you read this my twitter account is probably locked lol, oomfies the zygote legend is desperately trying to unlock @elysianlym, pray for me please :(
> 
> anyway donghyun is BOLD in this and youngmin's just a teasing piece of shit like that (but that's why i love him in this fic, next) :) we're already halfway through this fic you guys uuu
> 
> okay pls pray for my acc to be unlocked thank you :(
> 
> muah muah  
> lovemenow

On some late nights  
when Youngmin drops him off  
Donghyun can't stay still afterwards  
like a teen going through puberty  
as though his heart is on fire.

 

Youngmin's fully aware now  
that Donghyun's went crazy for him  
and perhaps he's just the same  
because he knows that he wants no one but Donghyun  
and at that, he knows Donghyun wants no one but him.

 

Still,  
Youngmin thinks it'll be boring  
to just let Donghyun in without a challenge.

 

Donghyun's confessed too many times  
and Youngmin's laughed at it too many times.  
But Donghyun sees right through him everytime  
he knows he's only playing hard to get  
he knows only he exists in Youngmin's heart.

 

Perhaps just a small crack  
perhaps a little gap?  
That's all he needs.

 

"I like you,"  
Donghyun tells him again.  
"I like you, Youngmin."

 

And yet the only thing  
that rings incessantly in his ears  
is the sound of Youngmin laughing  
and him saying, "I know, Donghyun."

 

Youngmin's a jerk like that;  
but maybe that's the whole reason why  
Donghyun finds him so attractive.

 

He hopes Youngmin knows he means it  
no matter how many times he says it  
because even if the world ends  
as long as he's with Youngmin  
he doesn't need anything else.

 

He thinks hesitation would be a luxury  
if Youngmin can't avoid it.  
Hesitation would be more than adequate.

 

And even if Youngmin has his doors locked  
it's not as if Donghyun won't keep on knocking  
and knocking  
on his heart.


	5. can't take my eyes off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friendzzooos! i'm back yolo sorry i was like not updating i had an open house in school and classes on sunday, i wasn't in the mood on monday + mourning over the loss of my twitter account PFFT (it's okay i made a new one, it's arcadianlym) huhu
> 
> youngmin is still a piece of shit sorry HAVE A GOOD WEEK LOVES
> 
> muah  
> lovemenow

 

Donghyun's always waiting for something  
or more of, for a text from Youngmin  
or anything. From Youngmin.

 

Youngmin keeps playing games with him  
purposely not answering him for hours  
leaving him on seen  
keeping him on his toes.

 

If Donghyun wasn't in love  
he'd be throwing a fit by now.

 

It's frustrating  
that Youngmin is so difficult  
to get in touch with.

 

Perhaps if he weren't such a tease  
they'd be  _actually_ dating right now;  
holding hands and going to places on weekends  
watching a movie and eating good food.  
  


But Youngmin  _is_ a tease  
so. That's that.

 

It feels like Donghyun is dating his phone  
from staring at it for so long  
from not being able to take his eyes off  
from scrolling up and down his feed  
(even though Youngmin barely posts).

 

(Maybe if they were dating  
Youngmin's feed would be filled  
with pictures of them. Maybe.)

 

"I've fallen for you,"  
Donghyun texts him.

 

  
Youngmin replies with yet  
another  
fucking  
emoji  
and a "I know!"

 

And then he can't be reached  
for the next few hours.  
Over again.

 


End file.
